More sims stuff and some sad stuff

On nights I don't have a ton of time to build a house from the ground up, I like to renovate Maxis created houses. So I posted these pictures of a quick redecoration/renovation of a Maxis house on facebook yesterday.

(I forgot to crop this properly, my bad.) 

Anyway, my best friend, Nicole asked me to build something for her. I thought it would be a fun challenge because we only have one expansion pack in common. She mentioned being a fan of the aquarium area in the above house, however, her pack and the base game do not have any large aquariums. So...I had to use some move object, show-hidden-objects, object layering cheats to make one for her. Anyway, I tried to use a lot of green and a lot of plants and it was super fun to put together. 

This song reminds me so much of Matt and I went back on facebook to look at some of my rant/writing about Matt's death December 2015 and they are so poignant, even still. 

"A month ago (after my dad had just passed), when I was feeling so down I felt like I wanted to die, Matt reached out and told me of a dream where a faceless ghost-girl figure crawled on top of him while he was sleeping. He said she was crying and he was trying hard to comfort her. He said when he woke up he felt so hyper concerned for me and sent me a message. I think he saved my life that night, like he had so many other times, I only wish I could have returned the favor."

"I want people to remember Matt the way that I knew him, not in the way of some news article. The way I remember him, the way I have always loved him.

That amazing writer, that kid in class who was always laughing and joking around. That boyfriend who took me to a cemetery on my 23rd birthday to put purple roses on the graves that no one visits. How we waltzed in the darkness and the only light was dim and peeping through trees from the street. That sweet boy who gave me plants to grow. The way the slanted light from his small bedroom window fell on his lips when he told me he loved me for the first time in the darkness. When we traded books for day of the book and wrote little notes to each other in the pages. He gave me The Lover, I gave him If Nobody Speaks of Remarkable Things. "If nobody speaks of remarkable things, then how can they be called remarkable?" The way we were always laughing and even when we were at our worst and fighting we would always end up laughing. How I wasn't mad at him for being 4 hours late when he lied to me about what he was doing because he was teasing his roommate about hamburger meat.

That friend who went out of his way for me so many times, who dropped everything to help me when I needed to talk. Who would talk me through scary shit when I was in bad situations, who came to visit when he could, who loved me even when I was giving him reasons not to.

Because I will remember him as that, as the person who I only ever wanted to protect, as the person I never wanted to get hurt. I only ever wanted to save him. I only ever wanted to see him succeed and to know that I was a small part of that. He was such a big part of me. He was the first person I met outside of my father who loved like me - true and unconditionally. He was loyal to a fault, sensitive, smart, and he was so much like me in so many ways that it hurts to know that he is gone. That my friend is gone and that friendship for all it was and all it could have been had to be cut so short. It was worth so much more to me.

I want to remember my friend like that. As someone who was supportive, and who I supported these last seven or so years. As someone who had insane ideas to get people to laugh. He didn't deserve this. He would have gone out of his way for anyone, and he was way too good for how he ended. He would have wanted something more poetic or hilarious to happen."

"Appropriate song (from warehouse 13 - Running Up that Hill cover by Track and Field) for losing a best friend. Sad that it was appropriate twice in one year. Sad that I had to lose two people who I had unconditional love for so close together. Happy that we at least had this life to be together and made beautiful memories and did amazing things.

Laying purple roses on the graves that no one visits, and an awkward waltz in a cemetery, staying up, wine drinking, writing together late at night, and talking about nothing, flashes of purple from your tie and your aura, and a laugh that made me laugh. I will always remember our friendship. You will never be in parentheses, you will always matter to me."

"I met Matt at YSU in a writing class. I admired his passive aggressive wit and saw in him a sweet and kind soul. He was the funniest person in the room and he stood out. I admired his writing and always looked forward to reading things that came out of his brain.

We didn't hang out until one day I saw him out with some mutual friends. We talked and teased each other all night, it was an instant connection. He asked me to go see Built to Spill at the Grog Shop with him in early October 2009. I thought we were just going as friends but when he kissed me after I said, "What????"

We started dating soon after we did wonderful things together and made memories i will never forget. and even though we weren't the perfect fit and after about a year, broke up and moved on, I still always had an undefinable love and admiration for him. We became great friends.

He was a light in my life and a great love of mine. He will never be forgotten by me and I hope there is an afterlife because I will be so happy to hang out with him again."

"Last night I got to speak with a close friend of Matt and mine. We were reading old messages, looking for Matt songs for a playlist they want to put together. I saw this and it is still true to me, sent the note on 3/6/2011.

"I don't know I don't want to be just some girl that you dated once and 'broke your heart,' because I'm not. I'm some girl who thinks the world of you and sees you as one of the best friends/best boyfriends she's ever had.
I didn't break up with you because I stopped loving you. I still love you, I still admire you and think you're the coolest shit around who deserves way more credit than you get. It just kind of hurts that I'm pretty sure you don't think that I actually think that about you. "