Here is a new video from the Youngstown band The Zou. They're really awesome people and fun to have random conversations with.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
If anyone is interested in hearing some actually good Youngstown music (not the spaceship song) with some nice Youngstown scenery in the video. LIKE THE MAHONING BRIDGE. (Which is the best place for pictures and walking ever.)
Here is a new video from the Youngstown band The Zou. They're really awesome people and fun to have random conversations with.
Here is a new video from the Youngstown band The Zou. They're really awesome people and fun to have random conversations with.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Insane history kick...
damn you Dr. York, I have work...I don't have time to plan a dissertation on a delusional female Nazi party member.
I am already looking for cheap books about it on betterworldbooks on my phone. But really I need to get ready because being late because I was looking up books about crazy women is not a really good reason to be late. If I told my boss, "Hey yeah, sorry I was late...I was thinking about a dead person." She would just be very confused. Though I did tell the woman who hired me in the interview that the reason I was a history major was because dead people fascinated me. And...yeah they still hired me.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Got off work early today, saw I had a missed call from Meeks. I called her back and we talked about work this was her day:
Marie: So today, I went to work at Akron and my job was to find out which of Akron's students were of the 30 at Kent to be arrested this weekend. Because I don't know if you knew, but Kent had a huge block party, then everyone went crazy and started burning couches. The police were called out in their riot gear and then the party was just over at 9.
Megan: Wow. You know, I don't really understand the whole over played "burning couches" thing. Is it symbolic or something? Because I mean, I've been really drunk and angry before. But never so drunk and angry that I looked at a couch and was like, "You know...I should burn this." Mostly I look at couches like, "You know...I should go to sleep on this."
Marie: I KNOW RIGHT? It is ridiculous. So Kent's solution for their party being over at 9 was to just have another one this coming weekend. Which is not good because it is also the same weekend Akron is having a party. So it is like Kent VS Akron now.
Megan: Why? To see who can handle more party than the other?
Marie: Probably to see who can handle more tear gas.
Megan: And burn the most couches.
Marie: Yes, and who can get the most students arrested.
Megan: I don't understand college students who party.
Marie: So today, I went to work at Akron and my job was to find out which of Akron's students were of the 30 at Kent to be arrested this weekend. Because I don't know if you knew, but Kent had a huge block party, then everyone went crazy and started burning couches. The police were called out in their riot gear and then the party was just over at 9.
Megan: Wow. You know, I don't really understand the whole over played "burning couches" thing. Is it symbolic or something? Because I mean, I've been really drunk and angry before. But never so drunk and angry that I looked at a couch and was like, "You know...I should burn this." Mostly I look at couches like, "You know...I should go to sleep on this."
Marie: I KNOW RIGHT? It is ridiculous. So Kent's solution for their party being over at 9 was to just have another one this coming weekend. Which is not good because it is also the same weekend Akron is having a party. So it is like Kent VS Akron now.
Megan: Why? To see who can handle more party than the other?
Marie: Probably to see who can handle more tear gas.
Megan: And burn the most couches.
Marie: Yes, and who can get the most students arrested.
Megan: I don't understand college students who party.
Speaking of these boxes...
I literally have so much to do from 7:45 - 9:30 tomorrow that I can't even comprehend how I am going to accomplish it all. Like requesting a copy of my high school diploma from Pymatuning Valley for work. Which is kind of ridiculous because I was told my college transcripts would work also, but apparently I absolutely just have to get my diploma from PV. This is extra stupid because I should just have a copy of it but when I moved to Youngstown the day after graduation I boxed up all of my crap in some boxes to be left at home (until I could find a place big enough for the random crap I collect) this included my diploma. Which, as it turns out, are all in the top attic-y part of the garage at home that no one can reach anymore because we don't take care of things where I am from. Also, I am pretty sure based on the state of that garage that the contents of the boxes (stories, poems, art, diploma, books, collected crap, other crap with sentimental value) has some pretty intense water damage.
Besides my the general categorizing of what is in those boxes I really don't know what specifically is in them. Or still in them, even. The 4th week I visited Andover after moving I found my sister had acquired some items that looked pretty similar to some expensive items I had put in those boxes. That she subsequently either gave away or broke. But she steals things, that is kind of her thing, I knew this as I packed those boxes. So I buried the expensive crap pretty deep under all the "pointless" crap. Which...makes me wonder what else she ended up taking that I don't know about.
I feel like if I opened up those boxes now or even years from now that it would be like going on some time machine. I might even cry. As I recall the collected "Sticky Files"* and the comics I wrote with my friends are all in there. If they end up staying up there after my family vacates I can only imagine how strange the new residents will find all of it. I am a pretty weird individual now, but in high school I was a lot more weird. Mostly because I was awkward and strange and didn't know how to express it verbally so I just cut myself and wrote bad poetry about hanging out in cemeteries. So basically like every other "gothy" teenager except I collected a lot of found objects, other people's photographs, bottles that I thought looked cool, and anything that reminded me of a cat. The cat stuff is definitely a lot less weird than the rest of it. All that crap is in those boxes though. It'll be like opening up some tomb or something. The tomb of the life I used to live and the person I used to be. So yeah, I'll probably cry. Because I will probably both hate myself for being as sad as I was and miss the kind of hopefulness for the future I used to feel.
But never in my life had I ever expected that the path I was on way back in high school was the same path that would bring me where I am. Heck, I didn't even think I would live this long. I just figured my life would just end at some point between 16 - 20 and that would be it. The book would close. This has nothing to do with the theme "holy fuck I am an adult," instead it is something more like "holy fuck I can't believe I've been so many different people."
*The Sticky Files were collected stories, quotes, notes, and inside jokes between my friend Nicole "Sticky" and myself. We filled up numerous notebooks with the stuff from 8th grade to senior year. Yeah, that was my life. Stories of me and my friend being strange and giggling at everything.
Besides my the general categorizing of what is in those boxes I really don't know what specifically is in them. Or still in them, even. The 4th week I visited Andover after moving I found my sister had acquired some items that looked pretty similar to some expensive items I had put in those boxes. That she subsequently either gave away or broke. But she steals things, that is kind of her thing, I knew this as I packed those boxes. So I buried the expensive crap pretty deep under all the "pointless" crap. Which...makes me wonder what else she ended up taking that I don't know about.
I feel like if I opened up those boxes now or even years from now that it would be like going on some time machine. I might even cry. As I recall the collected "Sticky Files"* and the comics I wrote with my friends are all in there. If they end up staying up there after my family vacates I can only imagine how strange the new residents will find all of it. I am a pretty weird individual now, but in high school I was a lot more weird. Mostly because I was awkward and strange and didn't know how to express it verbally so I just cut myself and wrote bad poetry about hanging out in cemeteries. So basically like every other "gothy" teenager except I collected a lot of found objects, other people's photographs, bottles that I thought looked cool, and anything that reminded me of a cat. The cat stuff is definitely a lot less weird than the rest of it. All that crap is in those boxes though. It'll be like opening up some tomb or something. The tomb of the life I used to live and the person I used to be. So yeah, I'll probably cry. Because I will probably both hate myself for being as sad as I was and miss the kind of hopefulness for the future I used to feel.
But never in my life had I ever expected that the path I was on way back in high school was the same path that would bring me where I am. Heck, I didn't even think I would live this long. I just figured my life would just end at some point between 16 - 20 and that would be it. The book would close. This has nothing to do with the theme "holy fuck I am an adult," instead it is something more like "holy fuck I can't believe I've been so many different people."
*The Sticky Files were collected stories, quotes, notes, and inside jokes between my friend Nicole "Sticky" and myself. We filled up numerous notebooks with the stuff from 8th grade to senior year. Yeah, that was my life. Stories of me and my friend being strange and giggling at everything.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Classes!
Also I need to definitely register for graduation before bad things happen in my life because the history department keeps emailing me asking me to come in. But I am 1.) Really scared to go in and 2.) Never have any time. I know that they're going to ask me about the whole Congdon situation and I don't want to deal with it. In fact I would just like to take two different European classes and just have the Congdon classes replaced because I don't want to deal with her (total disorganized, losing graded papers, etc etc) again.
Alright, I have to get out of my house.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
the conversations you have when you know someone too well.
My old roommate and still dearest janka got her on campus interview to work at miami university at the stem college. yay. yay. yay. i am really proud of her and i hope she does well. they only could really grasp a very small amount of her awesome during the skype interview, so i am sure once they see the whole thing they will have no choice but to hire her.
Marie: i got the on campus interview at miami! i am so nervous, i just pooped.
Megan: congrats on the interview and the pooping.
yeah, we're almost too blunt to function.
Marie: i got the on campus interview at miami! i am so nervous, i just pooped.
Megan: congrats on the interview and the pooping.
yeah, we're almost too blunt to function.
Facebook and Grad School Dramas
"It's hard to start a revolution. Even harder to continue it. And hardest of all to win it. But, it's only afterwards, when we have won, that the true difficulties begin." - The Battle of Algiers
The problem with heading into my Masters or PhD program dreams right now is that I am committing to specialize myself. Which is scary. I never gave it much thought. I just know what I am interested in. But the lack of ability to specialize yourself completely at YSU in your undergrad (and subsequently graduate program) in history has made my course selection seem kind of jumpy.
I know what I like, as in the period of time and place. America 1800 to present. But I don't know if I am proficient with it enough to start a dialogue about it with a professor I don't know in a totally different state or country. Which is what I need to do for grad school, I need to have a faculty member of the school be interested in my interests enough to like me. So that my application will be accepted and all will be right in the world. Or something.
The other problem is the scary specialization idea. I don't know if I want to specialize. There are so many things I enjoy outside of America 1800 - whenever. But I wouldn't say I am as passionate. Like my passion is immense for 20th Century studies of cities, crime, and culture and on the other hand I often find myself in other classes becoming absorbed in independent research about something halfway across the globe in the 17th century.
Then there is that definite push I am giving myself. Just to get out. Which is probably why I can't keep focused about what I even want to do about grad school and if I even want to do it. Because I just want to leave. I hate the feeling of knowing a place so well that you can walk it with your eyes closed. I can do that here. I know how to navigate every building without even having to think. Even Moser Hall, (It is true! And terrifying! Moser Hall has random computer labs that pop up in the middle of hallways for no reason.) Anyway, I really don't like it. I like newness and discovery. The idea of throwing myself out somewhere random and seeing if I can make it or not. Testing my ability to not fail. I like the idea of grad school but the applying/getting accepted obstacle is by far the scariest part for me.
Anyway, I'll close this random narrative about my feelings on grad school with a random narrative on my feelings about people on facebook.
One annoying facebook girl, that I make myself follow for the dual purpose of hilarity and because she is best friends with my sister, decided last night to bitch about her state tax refund. This girl is republican (I suppose), likes her pick up trucks, guns, speaking her american language, shooting deer, and to just be angry and just say fuck a lot.
Anyway, she wrote her beautiful status that hated on African Americans, Obama, people below the poverty line and on welfare, and people who were prettier than herself (in her own opinion). He basic beef was that only African Americans, pretty girls, and poor people can get jobs and this is Obama's fault. And because she made less than 10,000 dollars this year her state taxes sucked and this was Obama's fault. And if she could just be black, pretty, and poor then she could have a job. P.S. She can't drive anywhere because gas is so high and that is also Obama's fault.
I couldn't keep quiet on this one. Okay. No. I couldn't do it.
I had to say something. ONLY because the "state taxes" oh and the fact that: "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? You're not trying to get a job, you've been unemployed for a year now! I can't even COMPREHEND how someone 'trying' to get a job has been unemployed for a year."
She deleted it and I don't remember my exact wording. But I do remember I got about 23 likes before it disappeared but it was something like, "Hey, I'm sorry your tax refund sucked this year. But blaming a president for your state tax refund isn't going to solve your problem. Because they're STATE taxes not FEDERAL taxes. Also I feel like, the reason you can't find a job has nothing to do with your race, your looks, or your income (because if you have to be poor to get a job...you made under 10,000 this year...you should have one then) and everything to do with the job market where you live, what you're applying for, and how you're presenting yourself in interviews. Also, a bit of enlightenment here: No president has control over gas prices or ever will."
Anyway, I told her that. She then fired back with a very angry screaming at me in all caps and calling the president worthless over and over again.
I said, "Okay. I am sorry you feel like all of your problems that you can fix stem from America having a black president. But rather than passing the buck and screaming at people on facebook about things you can control why don't you go be proactive and look for a job? I feel like, when things happen that I can't control I like to do things to fix my problems rather than complain about them."
She deleted all my posts. And then wrote on another status about not being allowed to have opinions.
Here is my problem with this and why it is sticking in my head:
How is it...that I come back from England. And in a matter of a few weeks I have a job and apartment lined up. And I am back in school. How? I don't EVEN DRIVE. To the previously mentioned girl and my family who lives in the same area with her my lack of driving is a flaw that "will forever hold me back" and make me "less of a person." Seriously? Are you kidding?
I don't let anything hold me back from the things that I need or want to accomplish.
I am doing just fine without a car. Provided I am centered and have a jumping off point I can pretty much get anywhere and do anything. This girl still lives with her parents, probably relies on the financially, and she has a kid. What? Are you joking. Your life is so easy that I wish it was my life when I write my 600 dollar rent checks.
Listen if you can't find a job that is your fault. The job market sucks, yes. It is hard for people with degrees to get jobs in their fields even. But there are jobs somewhere for you. Sometimes you have to lower your standards and take what you can get until you can get what you want. I applied absolutely everywhere within a suitable walking distance of my apartment. Even places on the bus route. And because I got a call back so quickly from the Wee Care job I didn't bother doing follow ups with any of the other places.
I realize this is coming off as a "if the socially anxious/insane college girl can do it, so can you" speech. And that is because it is that speech. I don't even want to hear people insult me for not driving or being socially phobic anymore. That shit is absolutely ridiculous and there is no excuse for a "well-adjusted,*" mother who is being supported by other people to not be proactive enough in finding a job. Anywhere. Freaking McDonald's even. I don't know. What the fuck?
*Someone who drives and who is mentally more "normal" than myself.
The problem with heading into my Masters or PhD program dreams right now is that I am committing to specialize myself. Which is scary. I never gave it much thought. I just know what I am interested in. But the lack of ability to specialize yourself completely at YSU in your undergrad (and subsequently graduate program) in history has made my course selection seem kind of jumpy.
I know what I like, as in the period of time and place. America 1800 to present. But I don't know if I am proficient with it enough to start a dialogue about it with a professor I don't know in a totally different state or country. Which is what I need to do for grad school, I need to have a faculty member of the school be interested in my interests enough to like me. So that my application will be accepted and all will be right in the world. Or something.
The other problem is the scary specialization idea. I don't know if I want to specialize. There are so many things I enjoy outside of America 1800 - whenever. But I wouldn't say I am as passionate. Like my passion is immense for 20th Century studies of cities, crime, and culture and on the other hand I often find myself in other classes becoming absorbed in independent research about something halfway across the globe in the 17th century.
Then there is that definite push I am giving myself. Just to get out. Which is probably why I can't keep focused about what I even want to do about grad school and if I even want to do it. Because I just want to leave. I hate the feeling of knowing a place so well that you can walk it with your eyes closed. I can do that here. I know how to navigate every building without even having to think. Even Moser Hall, (It is true! And terrifying! Moser Hall has random computer labs that pop up in the middle of hallways for no reason.) Anyway, I really don't like it. I like newness and discovery. The idea of throwing myself out somewhere random and seeing if I can make it or not. Testing my ability to not fail. I like the idea of grad school but the applying/getting accepted obstacle is by far the scariest part for me.
Anyway, I'll close this random narrative about my feelings on grad school with a random narrative on my feelings about people on facebook.
One annoying facebook girl, that I make myself follow for the dual purpose of hilarity and because she is best friends with my sister, decided last night to bitch about her state tax refund. This girl is republican (I suppose), likes her pick up trucks, guns, speaking her american language, shooting deer, and to just be angry and just say fuck a lot.
Anyway, she wrote her beautiful status that hated on African Americans, Obama, people below the poverty line and on welfare, and people who were prettier than herself (in her own opinion). He basic beef was that only African Americans, pretty girls, and poor people can get jobs and this is Obama's fault. And because she made less than 10,000 dollars this year her state taxes sucked and this was Obama's fault. And if she could just be black, pretty, and poor then she could have a job. P.S. She can't drive anywhere because gas is so high and that is also Obama's fault.
I couldn't keep quiet on this one. Okay. No. I couldn't do it.
I had to say something. ONLY because the "state taxes" oh and the fact that: "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? You're not trying to get a job, you've been unemployed for a year now! I can't even COMPREHEND how someone 'trying' to get a job has been unemployed for a year."
She deleted it and I don't remember my exact wording. But I do remember I got about 23 likes before it disappeared but it was something like, "Hey, I'm sorry your tax refund sucked this year. But blaming a president for your state tax refund isn't going to solve your problem. Because they're STATE taxes not FEDERAL taxes. Also I feel like, the reason you can't find a job has nothing to do with your race, your looks, or your income (because if you have to be poor to get a job...you made under 10,000 this year...you should have one then) and everything to do with the job market where you live, what you're applying for, and how you're presenting yourself in interviews. Also, a bit of enlightenment here: No president has control over gas prices or ever will."
Anyway, I told her that. She then fired back with a very angry screaming at me in all caps and calling the president worthless over and over again.
I said, "Okay. I am sorry you feel like all of your problems that you can fix stem from America having a black president. But rather than passing the buck and screaming at people on facebook about things you can control why don't you go be proactive and look for a job? I feel like, when things happen that I can't control I like to do things to fix my problems rather than complain about them."
She deleted all my posts. And then wrote on another status about not being allowed to have opinions.
Here is my problem with this and why it is sticking in my head:
How is it...that I come back from England. And in a matter of a few weeks I have a job and apartment lined up. And I am back in school. How? I don't EVEN DRIVE. To the previously mentioned girl and my family who lives in the same area with her my lack of driving is a flaw that "will forever hold me back" and make me "less of a person." Seriously? Are you kidding?
I don't let anything hold me back from the things that I need or want to accomplish.
I am doing just fine without a car. Provided I am centered and have a jumping off point I can pretty much get anywhere and do anything. This girl still lives with her parents, probably relies on the financially, and she has a kid. What? Are you joking. Your life is so easy that I wish it was my life when I write my 600 dollar rent checks.
Listen if you can't find a job that is your fault. The job market sucks, yes. It is hard for people with degrees to get jobs in their fields even. But there are jobs somewhere for you. Sometimes you have to lower your standards and take what you can get until you can get what you want. I applied absolutely everywhere within a suitable walking distance of my apartment. Even places on the bus route. And because I got a call back so quickly from the Wee Care job I didn't bother doing follow ups with any of the other places.
I realize this is coming off as a "if the socially anxious/insane college girl can do it, so can you" speech. And that is because it is that speech. I don't even want to hear people insult me for not driving or being socially phobic anymore. That shit is absolutely ridiculous and there is no excuse for a "well-adjusted,*" mother who is being supported by other people to not be proactive enough in finding a job. Anywhere. Freaking McDonald's even. I don't know. What the fuck?
*Someone who drives and who is mentally more "normal" than myself.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Right before running to Walmart with Marie earlier...
Megan: [Jumps in car]
Marie: [staring]
Megan: What?
Marie: You pull off leggings and shorts better than anyone I know.
Megan: Thanks.
Marie: So...it really kind of freaks me out. That you went to england and then you came back knowing how to wear clothes.
Megan: I'm sorry it is weird that I don't dress like a creature of darkness any more.
Marie: Yeah, you're like a creature of darkness wearing human clothes. And you wear this jewlery that matches but doesn't match and it is all so cute. And I just. It drives me crazy because I feel like my sense of what is real is all warped.
Megan: I'm sorry I am twisting reality with my magical fashion powers.
Marie: Yeah it is so weird, every time we hang out it makes me forget what is real and not real. You're a dark creature in bright colors.
Megan: I assure you I am still a smiling darkness. Just underneath my clothes.
Sleeeeeeep, get ready for another week of none.
Marie: [staring]
Megan: What?
Marie: You pull off leggings and shorts better than anyone I know.
Megan: Thanks.
Marie: So...it really kind of freaks me out. That you went to england and then you came back knowing how to wear clothes.
Megan: I'm sorry it is weird that I don't dress like a creature of darkness any more.
Marie: Yeah, you're like a creature of darkness wearing human clothes. And you wear this jewlery that matches but doesn't match and it is all so cute. And I just. It drives me crazy because I feel like my sense of what is real is all warped.
Megan: I'm sorry I am twisting reality with my magical fashion powers.
Marie: Yeah it is so weird, every time we hang out it makes me forget what is real and not real. You're a dark creature in bright colors.
Megan: I assure you I am still a smiling darkness. Just underneath my clothes.
Sleeeeeeep, get ready for another week of none.
Apparently everyone I hung out with and I were extra hilarious tonight. I remember everything verbatim, you may enjoy.
Marie: (comments on Lemon Grove's photo of our friend brandon martin, referencing a time someone brought a tazer to the lemon grove during one of his shows) Don't bring tazers to bars.
Megan: (looks at it) No, bring tazers to bars, because it is like a fucking light show in your pocket.
---
(A large influx of bros and sluts happens in front of our table)
Marie: Oh my god do the bros and sluts know that when they all wear button down flannel and jeans that they are wearing the same uniform as the other.
Megan: It is the courting ritual of the elusive douchebag. So they can better find each other in the wilds of hipster bars.
Marie: (Laughing so hard that she is not making noise)
Megan: I'm sorry.
Marie: You don't have to apologize for being hilarious.
---
(Bro keeps randomlydancing bouncing with his mouth open while no one around him is dancing and no music is playing.)
Marie: I should go up there and bounce with him when he does it and see what happens.
Megan: You should. Do it.
Marie: No.
Megan: (Looks at Marie's boyfriend) Jimmy, will you do it?
Jimmy: Yeah, okay.
Marie: No he'll punch you.
Megan: No he won't.
Jimmy: He'll probably bro fist me. And I will just say, "What's up, bro?"
Megan: If he goes to bro fist you, you should stick your elbow out instead and tell him to touch your elbow to his. And be like, "At my frat, we brobow."
Marie: (Falls over laughing) You are extra hilarious tonight.
---
Megan: How much would it take to get you [Jimmy] and Bryan to wear a skin tight skimpy dress out at the lemon grove. If you got to wear wigs and sunglasses and pretend you were transvestites?
Jimmy: Too much.
Megan: I am willing to go that high for this photo op.
Jimmy: I would never wear a dress. I don't like to wear dresses.
Megan: You've never worn a dress. You have no idea what it is like.
Jimmy: I know I would not like it.
Megan: Your dick will feel so free. I mean, I wear dresses sometimes and I don't have a dick obviously but my vagina feels free.
Marie: WHAT!?!
Megan: Yeah like when you put on a dress and you are like walking around your vagina feels like it can do ANYTHING.
Marie: (Obnoxious laughing)
Megan: Last time I wore a dress I could hear my vagina singing [in opera singing voice] "Freeeeeedooooom"
Marie: (Dying)
Megan: Like the fucking underground railroad, but in your pants.
Marie: What does that even mean.
Megan: The underground railroad didn't even happen. It is a myth. The cake is a lie.
Marie: Oh my god.
Megan: History references at bars.
---
(Discussing creative ways to get money from random people on the street)
Megan: I think it would be great if someone went up to people on the street and said, "Hey I will write a song about you for a dollar." And then the person gave them a dollar and then the asker asked their name. Then with that name, they sang the "Banana-fana-fo-fana song,"
Marie & Jimmy (Laughing)
Megan: And then ran away.
Marie: (laughing for a while) What?! The more I think about it, the weirder it gets.
Megan: This is me you're talking to.
---
Megan: I saw you [to Jimmy] at Subway but I didn't say hi because the whores you were sitting with were making fun of my friend and I before you came in.
Jimmy: WHAT? Are you serious.
Megan: Yeah they were sitting there in their over priced "PINK" track suits with words on their asses and pointing at me and my friend and whispering to each other the making angry looks.
Marie: [to Jimmy] I told you that girls in your program were mean.
Megan: They could have been mean or it could have just been because we were talking about sex and sexy panties very loudly.
Jimmy: Maybe sex makes them angry?
Megan: Then, I feel REALLY sad for them.
---
Jimmy: (Throws salt from the salt shaker all over the table.)
Megan: Dude, stop, salt will scare away all the ghosts.
Marie: Yeah stop you're going to make Megan go away!
---
Marie: What will make the bros go away?
Jimmy: When all the sluts go away.
Marie: Megan what scares sluts away?
Megan: If you and I go over and start making out across that empty table the bros will crowd around us and then the sluts will leave.
Marie: But then they'll just cling by us.
Megan: No, after we are done they will follow us back to the table. They will find out you have a boyfriend and then they will find out that I am completely out of my fucking mind. Because I will talk about ghosts and make cat noises at them. They will be like, "Dude bro, the hot redhead has a boyfriend and the short one is a psycho. Dude. Bro." Then they will go to club nine and grind up against each other's butts.
---
Megan: One time I went to inner circle with Bryan and there was like a big frat birthday party going on. But Bryan wanted to stay so he could watch the sluts. Well, the shots song started playing and all the bros started humping each other on the dance floor. Which doesn't really bother me except these are the same culture of guys that are afraid of the gay bar because they think gay men will hit on them.
Marie: (laughing)
Megan: So in my head I am just like no, you are dry humping your "brother." 1.) That is gay by definition, 2.) That is also disgustingly almost incestuousness, 3.) You already are a Greek Society and everyone knows that the Greeks did very gay things to each other.
(Everyone is looking at me.)
Megan: I had to throw a historical fact in there...okay?
---
Marie: I could get beers/money just by going up and talking in a really high voice and twisting my hair and asking for it.
Megan: That doesn't work for every girl, just you because you're a redheaded amazon.
Marie: It would also work for you but you just don't use a high voice. You go up to people and you're like, [changes voice a little lower] "I'm Megan, I meow and talk in a really low register about ghosts."
---
Megan: [Walks inside from walking downtown] I feel like the rain made my eye make up melt off.
Marie: I can't tell because it is too dark over by you.
Megan: Oh thanks.
Marie: It is just dark over there.
Megan: No, really you mean, "Megan no one can tell you are flawed because of the extreme darkness that follows you around." Really? I know what you meant. GOD!
Marie: (laughing) That is pretty much exactly what I wished I had said now because it is very accurate.
---
Marie: My brother and I were coloring eggs on Sunday. He drew a sad face on the egg and I thought of you.
Megan: I love you.
---
Marie: I wonder why the sluts are wearing jeans and button downs and not skin tight shirts with no pants.
Megan: We're at a hipster bar, they're wearing clothes because it is ironic.
Megan: (looks at it) No, bring tazers to bars, because it is like a fucking light show in your pocket.
---
(A large influx of bros and sluts happens in front of our table)
Marie: Oh my god do the bros and sluts know that when they all wear button down flannel and jeans that they are wearing the same uniform as the other.
Megan: It is the courting ritual of the elusive douchebag. So they can better find each other in the wilds of hipster bars.
Marie: (Laughing so hard that she is not making noise)
Megan: I'm sorry.
Marie: You don't have to apologize for being hilarious.
---
(Bro keeps randomly
Marie: I should go up there and bounce with him when he does it and see what happens.
Megan: You should. Do it.
Marie: No.
Megan: (Looks at Marie's boyfriend) Jimmy, will you do it?
Jimmy: Yeah, okay.
Marie: No he'll punch you.
Megan: No he won't.
Jimmy: He'll probably bro fist me. And I will just say, "What's up, bro?"
Megan: If he goes to bro fist you, you should stick your elbow out instead and tell him to touch your elbow to his. And be like, "At my frat, we brobow."
Marie: (Falls over laughing) You are extra hilarious tonight.
---
Megan: How much would it take to get you [Jimmy] and Bryan to wear a skin tight skimpy dress out at the lemon grove. If you got to wear wigs and sunglasses and pretend you were transvestites?
Jimmy: Too much.
Megan: I am willing to go that high for this photo op.
Jimmy: I would never wear a dress. I don't like to wear dresses.
Megan: You've never worn a dress. You have no idea what it is like.
Jimmy: I know I would not like it.
Megan: Your dick will feel so free. I mean, I wear dresses sometimes and I don't have a dick obviously but my vagina feels free.
Marie: WHAT!?!
Megan: Yeah like when you put on a dress and you are like walking around your vagina feels like it can do ANYTHING.
Marie: (Obnoxious laughing)
Megan: Last time I wore a dress I could hear my vagina singing [in opera singing voice] "Freeeeeedooooom"
Marie: (Dying)
Megan: Like the fucking underground railroad, but in your pants.
Marie: What does that even mean.
Megan: The underground railroad didn't even happen. It is a myth. The cake is a lie.
Marie: Oh my god.
Megan: History references at bars.
---
(Discussing creative ways to get money from random people on the street)
Megan: I think it would be great if someone went up to people on the street and said, "Hey I will write a song about you for a dollar." And then the person gave them a dollar and then the asker asked their name. Then with that name, they sang the "Banana-fana-fo-fana song,"
Marie & Jimmy (Laughing)
Megan: And then ran away.
Marie: (laughing for a while) What?! The more I think about it, the weirder it gets.
Megan: This is me you're talking to.
---
Megan: I saw you [to Jimmy] at Subway but I didn't say hi because the whores you were sitting with were making fun of my friend and I before you came in.
Jimmy: WHAT? Are you serious.
Megan: Yeah they were sitting there in their over priced "PINK" track suits with words on their asses and pointing at me and my friend and whispering to each other the making angry looks.
Marie: [to Jimmy] I told you that girls in your program were mean.
Megan: They could have been mean or it could have just been because we were talking about sex and sexy panties very loudly.
Jimmy: Maybe sex makes them angry?
Megan: Then, I feel REALLY sad for them.
---
Jimmy: (Throws salt from the salt shaker all over the table.)
Megan: Dude, stop, salt will scare away all the ghosts.
Marie: Yeah stop you're going to make Megan go away!
---
Marie: What will make the bros go away?
Jimmy: When all the sluts go away.
Marie: Megan what scares sluts away?
Megan: If you and I go over and start making out across that empty table the bros will crowd around us and then the sluts will leave.
Marie: But then they'll just cling by us.
Megan: No, after we are done they will follow us back to the table. They will find out you have a boyfriend and then they will find out that I am completely out of my fucking mind. Because I will talk about ghosts and make cat noises at them. They will be like, "Dude bro, the hot redhead has a boyfriend and the short one is a psycho. Dude. Bro." Then they will go to club nine and grind up against each other's butts.
---
Megan: One time I went to inner circle with Bryan and there was like a big frat birthday party going on. But Bryan wanted to stay so he could watch the sluts. Well, the shots song started playing and all the bros started humping each other on the dance floor. Which doesn't really bother me except these are the same culture of guys that are afraid of the gay bar because they think gay men will hit on them.
Marie: (laughing)
Megan: So in my head I am just like no, you are dry humping your "brother." 1.) That is gay by definition, 2.) That is also disgustingly almost incestuousness, 3.) You already are a Greek Society and everyone knows that the Greeks did very gay things to each other.
(Everyone is looking at me.)
Megan: I had to throw a historical fact in there...okay?
---
Marie: I could get beers/money just by going up and talking in a really high voice and twisting my hair and asking for it.
Megan: That doesn't work for every girl, just you because you're a redheaded amazon.
Marie: It would also work for you but you just don't use a high voice. You go up to people and you're like, [changes voice a little lower] "I'm Megan, I meow and talk in a really low register about ghosts."
---
Megan: [Walks inside from walking downtown] I feel like the rain made my eye make up melt off.
Marie: I can't tell because it is too dark over by you.
Megan: Oh thanks.
Marie: It is just dark over there.
Megan: No, really you mean, "Megan no one can tell you are flawed because of the extreme darkness that follows you around." Really? I know what you meant. GOD!
Marie: (laughing) That is pretty much exactly what I wished I had said now because it is very accurate.
---
Marie: My brother and I were coloring eggs on Sunday. He drew a sad face on the egg and I thought of you.
Megan: I love you.
---
Marie: I wonder why the sluts are wearing jeans and button downs and not skin tight shirts with no pants.
Megan: We're at a hipster bar, they're wearing clothes because it is ironic.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
The sound of freaking improvisation
Things aren't turning out exactly as I have expected them to today so instead of freaking out just going to post some random things.
For one: A month or so ago I started working on a relationship blog called Single and Caffeinated. It is still a baby blog and because I have been really busy I haven't really had the time to pimp it out as I usually do with my blogs and such. So I will start here. Now.
Unfortunately I feel like I will have to double post certain issues. Like having guy friends who have crushes on you. Because every situation is different. And how I am handling (and how someone should handle) is totally different because of the circumstances of the individual relationships. That or I can just have my friend Lindsey detail her thoughts on the subject and guest post that because she is going through a very similar situation with one of our mutual friends.
Relevant xkcd Comic:
For one: A month or so ago I started working on a relationship blog called Single and Caffeinated. It is still a baby blog and because I have been really busy I haven't really had the time to pimp it out as I usually do with my blogs and such. So I will start here. Now.
Unfortunately I feel like I will have to double post certain issues. Like having guy friends who have crushes on you. Because every situation is different. And how I am handling (and how someone should handle) is totally different because of the circumstances of the individual relationships. That or I can just have my friend Lindsey detail her thoughts on the subject and guest post that because she is going through a very similar situation with one of our mutual friends.
Relevant xkcd Comic:
Anyway, I had to buy the book I need to write this paper for like 2 dollars with some expedited shipping because everyone in my class decided to reserve the only book for the class today at the library. So I am on a waiting list until next week. So I am going to have to find time to do it with my own book. Which should be easy enough because then I can sit and do it whenever I want. Like at midnight when the library is closed.
Awesome Saturday. I am going to go make some adventures for myself out in the gloomy park. And by make adventures I mean swing by myself while listening to music.
Found out today that...
My friend Graham (the person I stayed with in England for the last 3 or 4 weeks I was there) and his girlfriend Nina got her visa approved yesterday. This is magical! I am so happy and excited for them. Because I know it was costly, Graham spent at least 1,900 GPB (3,000 USD) not including Nina's expenses on her end. Also not including the traveling expenses from being in England and Canada for the past 7 or something years of their relationship.
I am so happy for them both right now. :)
I am so happy for them both right now. :)
Friday, April 13, 2012
Not having tests on Fridays after long work and being sick weeks should be put in the YSU policies.
Yes.
I know I will probably pass, but my anxiety is all kicked up, I really don't want to even walk to campus to sit down and panic for an hour.
Whatever, I'm wearing a shirt with dancing coffee on it today. Nothing is going to take me down. Not even a test on government institutions that I am already confident I know.
Also I think I may have solved my summer job worries and put out some ads to offer summer reading/spelling tutoring for kiddos. I could probably even post something up in the Daycare too. But yeah, I don't know why I didn't think of it before. Anyway, Yay. I'm smart.
Yeah, now I need coffee. Like real coffee.
Coffee, coffee, coffee! A sick and desperate cry for caffeine.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
The universe is going to catch you...
Arrived into work two minutes late to hear my boss say this to me:
"Hey Megan, I just wanted to let you know...(long pause)...that we've been getting some excellent feedback about you from everyone. So I just wanted to tell you that you're doing an excellent job and to keep it up. You're absolutely loved by students, staff, and all of the parents of your students so it is awesome. I just thought you would like to know that, you're doing a great job."
Here is an artistic representation of what my face did:
Oh my gosh I am so happy about hearing this that I could just die.
I love, love, love when I am awesome at things. I also love it even more when I feel appreciated and important. I also like knowing that despite my feeling like I suck at taking care of little humans and interacting with them that I AM SO AWESOME THAT MY BOSS TOTALLY FORGOT I WAS LATE.
WHAT!?!
Oh my gosh. Be still, my heart.
"Hey Megan, I just wanted to let you know...(long pause)...that we've been getting some excellent feedback about you from everyone. So I just wanted to tell you that you're doing an excellent job and to keep it up. You're absolutely loved by students, staff, and all of the parents of your students so it is awesome. I just thought you would like to know that, you're doing a great job."
Here is an artistic representation of what my face did:
Oh my gosh I am so happy about hearing this that I could just die.
I love, love, love when I am awesome at things. I also love it even more when I feel appreciated and important. I also like knowing that despite my feeling like I suck at taking care of little humans and interacting with them that I AM SO AWESOME THAT MY BOSS TOTALLY FORGOT I WAS LATE.
WHAT!?!
Oh my gosh. Be still, my heart.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Dreaming
Can't sleep, keep thinking Florence & the Machine will help. It doesn't.
Just makes me want to go on walks.
Awesome, okay, whatever...I am going to go to sleep for like 4 hours...and then...wake up and walk until like 7 or something. I am getting that claw out of my apartment feeling. Probably because my weekend is almost over and I am 2 parts not thrilled, 1 part nervous about the week, and 1 part longing for my next free 24 hour period of time.
So I just want to walk around and have more moments that are just my own or something. Not that sleeping isn't "my own," but I'm not conscious to enjoy it. And my subconscious likes to find clever ways to torture me so that I can't help but not enjoy it. Or make me happy in my dreams so that I wake up wanting not to be awake ever again.
I like when I dream that I have my life together. I always dream that I am not afraid of driving, have graduated, am doing something substantial in the background. But those dreams my big plot is always something really mundane or peaceful like "finding the best spot in Millcreek park to take a nap," or "exploring some museum or art gallery [that I made up in my head]." Then I wake up and I am so pissed the fuck off.
But I always dream that I am me in an alternate universe. Where I still am not awesome. But it is just easier. Because everything is weird. And I am an adventurer, everything is supernatural, and I just can do whatever my weird mind wants me to do. And I am happy usually. Last night I dreamed I was in this world and because I just got my CPR certification stuff last week I dreamed I had to use it to save someone. Then I was just like..."Dude...why am I doing this. I don't have to, this is my dream. This person isn't dead." And then I poked them in my dream and they were suddenly alive.
Then I fought some demons with magical powers and things. But that is usually what happens in those dreams anyway. Because I watch too much Supernatural. So I wake up from those pissed too.
The only dreams I don't wake up pissed from, I wake up endlessly sad from. And those are the rest of them. Where someone I really care about is dead, or hates me and never wants to see me again, or I ruin a friendship by doing something really dumb and improbable.
Just makes me want to go on walks.
Awesome, okay, whatever...I am going to go to sleep for like 4 hours...and then...wake up and walk until like 7 or something. I am getting that claw out of my apartment feeling. Probably because my weekend is almost over and I am 2 parts not thrilled, 1 part nervous about the week, and 1 part longing for my next free 24 hour period of time.
So I just want to walk around and have more moments that are just my own or something. Not that sleeping isn't "my own," but I'm not conscious to enjoy it. And my subconscious likes to find clever ways to torture me so that I can't help but not enjoy it. Or make me happy in my dreams so that I wake up wanting not to be awake ever again.
I like when I dream that I have my life together. I always dream that I am not afraid of driving, have graduated, am doing something substantial in the background. But those dreams my big plot is always something really mundane or peaceful like "finding the best spot in Millcreek park to take a nap," or "exploring some museum or art gallery [that I made up in my head]." Then I wake up and I am so pissed the fuck off.
But I always dream that I am me in an alternate universe. Where I still am not awesome. But it is just easier. Because everything is weird. And I am an adventurer, everything is supernatural, and I just can do whatever my weird mind wants me to do. And I am happy usually. Last night I dreamed I was in this world and because I just got my CPR certification stuff last week I dreamed I had to use it to save someone. Then I was just like..."Dude...why am I doing this. I don't have to, this is my dream. This person isn't dead." And then I poked them in my dream and they were suddenly alive.
Then I fought some demons with magical powers and things. But that is usually what happens in those dreams anyway. Because I watch too much Supernatural. So I wake up from those pissed too.
The only dreams I don't wake up pissed from, I wake up endlessly sad from. And those are the rest of them. Where someone I really care about is dead, or hates me and never wants to see me again, or I ruin a friendship by doing something really dumb and improbable.
Friday, April 6, 2012
So many things packed in one life...
I keep putting off things that are mundane that I must do to live comfortably in my apartment over weekends. But it seems like the beginning of this week my apartment became my pick up, drop off, sleep in, and never live in $600-a-month storage unit. And it is not done being that way yet. Because I still have a lot to do next week.
Today I went to work for my short day (2:30 - 5:30) and got out late because the director forgot she scheduled me only to 5:30. Anyway I peeked in at my schedule for next week and I am now the official afternoon teacher for the Elmo room. YAY. I am a teacher it is official! Tell my mom, she will be so proud of me. But this is a double edged sword because not only am I officially inducted, accepted, and loved by staff and students I also work every night, every week from 2:30 until 8.
Except for the days at the end of the month I definitely already requested off.
Definitely won't be teaching my Elmos those days.
This weekend I'm going to have to totally get with the program though because I need to do a thorough cleaning of my apartment, return the rest of my research books, fill out my Perkin's loan form, apply for some Ohio medical and food benefits because I am poor as shit, complete Dr. Ayana's paper due at the end of the month, and do my case study for my Poli Sci test on Friday. So that I have absolutely nothing to do when I get home from working with the crazy toddlers except for what I want...which is usually sleep. And eating. But mostly sleep.
So that leaves my weekend sleepless. BUT if I do everything this weekend it means my next couple weekends will belong only to myself. And the one class I need to take in Communicable Disease training on the 21st. So that is...that is much nicer to me than worrying about when I am going to have time over the weekend for things if I just do it all right now. Then I can ignore my apartment forever because I am never in it enough for it to get so unbelievably fucked up any more.
And the only reason it is really messy right now is because A.) research material is everywhere, B.) I was/still sort of am sick this week and I have the right to not give a fucking crap, and C.) Even if I don't have the right to not give a fucking crap, I just don't give any shits about the way my apartment looks when people are not going to be in it.
Got my first pay check yesterday, it was 120 or something.
Pretty sure the next from here on out will be around 400 something or other.
That is still meager in reaching my 600 a month rent. So we will see. We will see.
I don't think that I will be renewing this lease, whatever happens next year, this apartment will not be something I commit to again.
Today I went to work for my short day (2:30 - 5:30) and got out late because the director forgot she scheduled me only to 5:30. Anyway I peeked in at my schedule for next week and I am now the official afternoon teacher for the Elmo room. YAY. I am a teacher it is official! Tell my mom, she will be so proud of me. But this is a double edged sword because not only am I officially inducted, accepted, and loved by staff and students I also work every night, every week from 2:30 until 8.
Except for the days at the end of the month I definitely already requested off.
Definitely won't be teaching my Elmos those days.
This weekend I'm going to have to totally get with the program though because I need to do a thorough cleaning of my apartment, return the rest of my research books, fill out my Perkin's loan form, apply for some Ohio medical and food benefits because I am poor as shit, complete Dr. Ayana's paper due at the end of the month, and do my case study for my Poli Sci test on Friday. So that I have absolutely nothing to do when I get home from working with the crazy toddlers except for what I want...which is usually sleep. And eating. But mostly sleep.
So that leaves my weekend sleepless. BUT if I do everything this weekend it means my next couple weekends will belong only to myself. And the one class I need to take in Communicable Disease training on the 21st. So that is...that is much nicer to me than worrying about when I am going to have time over the weekend for things if I just do it all right now. Then I can ignore my apartment forever because I am never in it enough for it to get so unbelievably fucked up any more.
And the only reason it is really messy right now is because A.) research material is everywhere, B.) I was/still sort of am sick this week and I have the right to not give a fucking crap, and C.) Even if I don't have the right to not give a fucking crap, I just don't give any shits about the way my apartment looks when people are not going to be in it.
Got my first pay check yesterday, it was 120 or something.
Pretty sure the next from here on out will be around 400 something or other.
That is still meager in reaching my 600 a month rent. So we will see. We will see.
I don't think that I will be renewing this lease, whatever happens next year, this apartment will not be something I commit to again.
Almost immediately upon arriving home I passed out in my bed.
Had nightmares that my kids went home with the wrong "daily sheets," that I didn't close correctly tonight, and just heard the echoing sound of a thousand toddlers crying in my head.
Woke up having a super massive fucking anxiety attack.
But I also woke up to realize that I forgot to turn my heat back on when I came in.
Because my house was freezing.
And my face was all stuffy because of that.
So that was subsequently fixed.
And now here I am...awake at 4 in the freaking morning.
I feel like...I need to like...not have panic attacks after midnight.
Had nightmares that my kids went home with the wrong "daily sheets," that I didn't close correctly tonight, and just heard the echoing sound of a thousand toddlers crying in my head.
Woke up having a super massive fucking anxiety attack.
But I also woke up to realize that I forgot to turn my heat back on when I came in.
Because my house was freezing.
And my face was all stuffy because of that.
So that was subsequently fixed.
And now here I am...awake at 4 in the freaking morning.
I feel like...I need to like...not have panic attacks after midnight.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)