I don’t know how to type this. I am still in complete shock.
7:32 AM
I was awake walking around the house because I could not sleep. I woke up with a jolt at like 6am and just started pacing around the house. Not sure why. Just something would not let me fall back to sleep.
My cell phone started vibrating and as I said out loud, “it’s 7:30am what is my mom calling me for?” I knew before the sentence even finished - the words still hanging in the air. Something was wrong with my sister.
“Heather’s gone. She’s gone. She was shot. Her boyfriend killed her.”
I couldn’t process it and just said, “what? what? What the fuck?”
I still haven’t processed it, if I am being totally honest.
Her boyfriend turned himself in this morning.
My sister and I were no contact since 2019 when everything went down with what she had done to my grandmother and it became really evident that she was having some kind of issue (gambling, spending all her money, selling everything that wasn’t secured to the floor, taking money from my mom etc). I just did not want to be involved in her life at that point. It was too much for me. So I went no contact with her. It was healthier and safer for me so I don’t regret that even now. It was better for my mental health to not be involved in my sister’s chaotic life.
So I have complicated feelings about her passing - to say the least. I am sad. I wish things were different between us - that is was healthier for her to have been in my life all these years.
My sister, Heather Elise Harris, was born March 4, 1989. She was a complicated person but she had lots of people that loved her and cared for her. She had very much desired love and closeness her whole life. She was outgoing, had tons of friends, and more than anything wanted her “other half.” Her love language was giving gifts and monetary. I once saw her give a friend-of-a friend of hers $100 for gas money right after saying she couldn’t pay a bill. She really loved people and wanted to have them love her in return.
I am just sick about this whole situation and I am so devastated. I am angry. I am shocked. I am scared. I am sad for her friends and my whole family. Everyone but my mom was also no contact with her so I would imagine we are all feeling a similar and complicated set of feelings about this.
I don’t know if it would help knowing why. I hear that helps sometimes when someone is murdered. But I don’t think it would help. Because I would just keep asking. There is no reason. Nothing good enough. No one is deserving of this for any reason.
I don’t know how to end this.
Anyway someone told me to do a go fund me so I did that I guess to take some of the burden off my mother.
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