Smile like you mean it...

Tonight I went out downtown to grab a bite to eat since I don't have a fully stocked kitchen yet. Anyway while down there I had 5-6 people come up to me, remember my name, and tell me that they missed seeing me around. I don't really know these people that well. But it seriously made me want to cry.

I came back to my bare little apartment, which to be honest doesn't feel much like home yet, it just feels so dark and spooky. Empty.

It almost feels too big for me. The doors are high, high, high. I could probably have someone my height stand on my shoulders and still walk through them. It is really cold.

But it is beautiful. It is everything I would like in a place. It is also something that I have the freedom to make my own. I bought some pots and pans so that I could cook/bake like I love to do. I was washing them today and just felt awesome. But I kept feeling like I wasn't alone. Which made me sad when I realized I was. I just looked around at the door and had to stop myself from being upset.

Maybe when my plants are here I'll feel less alone. I'll have them to talk to.

I have my shit together...I have a list on the table of all the places I'm going to apply to tomorrow. I've landed and I'm home. I can relax now. I feel really, really, really happy now.

Why do I feel like I'm missing a something?

The sad part is that there is probably nothing wrong, I'm just getting worked up because I'm used to something always going wrong.