star above muted worlds

Has anyone ever regretted not doing something way sooner?
Like, before you made it practically impossible to figure out where to go with what you've done?

This is vague I know, I just don't know how else to say it.

When I think about going home, I see the future I had planned for myself.
But is it really the future I need?
I don't know.

This is eerily relevant to a very old blog I posted when I was younger.
I just want to fast forward my life a little bit right now.

Everyone is waiting for me to move...and I don't even know where to step.

I'll probably just jump in, that is usually how I solve my problems.
It is just this time I'd like to land on solid ground, or in something tasty like pudding.
Or maybe just land inside a hug from someone who gets it. Gets me, at least.

I'm just kind of confused, I guess. Trying to figure out what wrong turns led me to this mindset.
Trying to figure out which turn is the right one. Which options are best.

I guess I just need the universe to give me some "grand gesture." Some shove.

Someone could just come up to me and say, "Hey, here is your sign, go this way."
I don't have a lot of faith in anything or anyone, but I'm hoping that I will right myself.
For a few years I've been kind of spinning in circles. I'm finally feeling like the breaks are about to be hit.

I have no idea why this is though. Perhaps I'll get that universal push after all.