Some musings on growth and passions and being a natural at something

I used to work at Sears Portrait Studio when I was 18/19 and it was my first "adult" job that I used to save so that I could actually afford to go to college (I didn't go straight to college from high school because of money issues - when you're poor sometimes aid doesn't cover everything - and at the time I was terrified of taking out loans).

Growing up, I always was writing or doing some form of photography with my father's Polaroid cameras and eventually getting my own. Photography was, probably, the first thing to captivate and fascinate me as a child. As a child, I had minor dyslexia/dyscalculia so many school subjects I even remotely liked to do at home (reading to myself, writing) I wasn't able to really excel at in a public setting. But photography was something I could carry with me and wasn't embarrassed about showing around. (It wasn't until high school that I felt confident enough about my writing to do anything with that).

I had a tendency (and still do) to abandon activities that I am not good at or that I didn't feel comfortable with initially. Which is why I quit all the sports that my parents put me in or lasted a season in never to return. Cross country, golf, baseball, things I liked doing alone but couldn't excel at in a team setting so I quit because I hate failing.

So, I continue to circle back into the things that I am good at. I tried to make a career out of photography and when I tried to go to school for it (you needed to take/pass illustration classes initially) I was not good at the initial activities the BFA required so I quit (also I had an issue with a long-term relationship and let that take precedence). I went back to writing and history because I was consistently good at those things even when I was depressed.

I fully intended to work at the portrait studio or in a studio for the rest of the conceivable future. If I didn't stay with Sears I planned on working for myself. I didn't though. My life situation changed when I blacked out when driving and realized I had to change my living situation to continue with my history degree. I had to move on campus and start working on campus to make it through school so I had to leave the studio inevitably. I have done a lot of hoping since then and seeing commonalities in the things I choose to do to make money.

Sales, in a career setting, is something I really excel at. I always had the highest averages and worked very hard to be "the best" and make the most money. (Something my dad always told me I got from him - he was a District Manager for a retail vendor - and I did really love watching my father work from home, it was interesting to me). I always excel at jobs where there is that customer service/sales aspect to it and I enjoy that. I would ultimately love to teach but teaching doesn't pay the bills. At least for most people. Most of the college professors I know personally have to do odd jobs in order to fund their lives. Of course, that could just be because state universities pay almost nothing to people with MFAs/PhDs who don't have tenure.

I am not sure where I am going after this or what career path will be the one that I am at for the rest of my life. I guess, I just enjoy what I do. I like managing people and working in the sales industry. I love doing photography in a studio for people and imagining that my art is going to be with them for the rest of their lives. I have grown a lot since my first photography job. I am more confident since I was 18, 24, or even 28 and I think I can only bring good things to the companies I work for.

My new manager said something that stuck with me when I jumped right into selling the "specs" that come with a photography order on my second day and sold a bunch of specs to a customer. "See, that is the kind of attitude I look for in a photographer here. The ability to make a sale even if you aren't the one who took the pictures. That is why I hired you not just because you love photography but because you are a natural salesperson who knows how to work for a sale."

I said, "Well, it is in my blood."