The last post in this blog was about my father dying and I come back to it again with more sad news. News I am still processing.
I received a message Christmas day, one I never expected to ever receive, they found one of my closest friends dead at 29 years old Christmas morning.
For one randomly weird and amazing year I dated Matt and even after we broke up there was a deep and unshakable bond between us. The kind of bond that only comes when two creative people fall passionately in love and have to choose between keeping that love and trying to force something neither of us were ready for or letting it go and letting that love stay on pause.
Matt and I had been friends ever since our break up in 2010. Even when I was hopping around the globe, even when I was dating other people, even when I was purposely single, I loved Matt with my whole useless and wasted heart.
Matt was one of many people who reached out to me after the death of my father. Our conversations during the weeks after my father's death were conversations I will remember for the rest of my life. Matt was wonderful at knowing what to say and when he loved you, he truly loved you, so his sympathies didn't seem contrived like so many others.
He was a light in some of my darkest moments, when the light from all others was faltering, and when my father's light burnt out. Matt's unconditional love for me, his absolute forgiveness, his smile, his eyes, his laugh, they made up one of the most powerful and profound loves of my life.
I will always love you, Matt.
From now and after my own light burns out.
I'll see you on the other side.
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