The days are so long when all you've got is time to sit and think about what you've done wrong...

At some point in my life I need to do some laundry but after my hella long walk all I want to do is curl up and sleep on my counter, bar stool, floor, bookcase, bed, I mean, bed.

I feel like I'm drowning in some sort of invisible workload. Considering that what I have to do this semester is about half the amount of work I had to do last semester. I think I either need more or less distractions. Some sort of routine made to keep me in check. My first two semesters I really didn't do anything or go to class or anything because of...reasons beyond my control. Then when I actually moved to Youngstown I discovered I work really hard when I'm "working to enjoy something." Like getting all my homework done a week in advance so that I can "party" with my friends for an entire week. Last year I worked on my school work at the desk at work and I would do it to make sure I had a weekend free for Karaoke-ing and exploring random places. Now, I'm not sure what I'm working for. Right now it is work to sleep, sleep to dream. But then I keep waking up at 3am or 4am from night terrors or something. Maybe I'm not used to being alone in this apartment yet.

I think it is because I don't have any solid routine plans. Right now I make plans that are written in expo marker on windows. But this week I'm carving in my application for graduation, researching grad schools (if that will even be a financial possibility at the moment). I'd like to make some solid plans for the semester and let the pieces of school fall around it. One thing I've always been really good at is working under lots of pressure.

Last year I had to write 8 gigantic papers within the 15 week time period. I worked my ass off taking all the weekday cop shifts (midnight - 7am)  I could get my hands on for overtime. I still had time to do all kinds of stupid Megan crap and go on mini adventures. Somehow I got through all that. I was stressed as hell but I don't think I know how to work correctly unless there is some sort of stress present.

I think someone should help me stay awake so that I'll actually accomplish some busy work today.
But I'll probably just get day dreamy, lay down, and fall into sleep again.