On a lighter note...

I've been playing a lot of neopets to quell my boredom.

People just give me things on this website. I got a random Dark Faerie Quest and put in the forum that I needed and item for it. Instead of linking me to a shop where I can purchase it, someone just sent me one.

Not only that, someone sent me a pretty expensive ghost paint brush, for no reason. No reason, at all. Just opened the page and I had a gift request from this person. I was super surprised. Saved the paint brush in my item box just in case I need it for something.

I've been keeping myself busy by collecting avatars. For no reason. I don't really use the forum anyway. I just want to collect them...like achievements. Today I created a Skeith and fed her something to get an avatar. I couldn't get rid of it because they have to be 7 days old to abandon at the adoption center. So I went and splurged on an orange Koi morphing potion because lets me serious, Skeiths are ugly. Anyway, now I have a Koi that I'm trying to get someone to trade for another pet I need for an avatar.

Some of them are pretty ridiculously impossible. Like having a draik for 365 days.... that avatar isn't going to happen. Or having a halloween pet, haha. Halloween paint brushes go for 6 mil NP easy. So I doubt I'll be able to afford that. I don't play that much.

I should really be sleeping but I've been insomnia ridden for a while now. I can't wait to visit home and when this happens call Dave and scream, "OMG COFFEE! ME + YOU! PERKINS NOW. Go Go Go!"

That'll happen.
Probably.

Missing Pieces

Sorry I haven't posted in a long while. It has been a pretty intense few months.

I keep going from super happy to super upset. I miss home a lot. Not just home, I miss America. Not for any patriotic reason, no. I just miss the way Youngstown/Andover smells in the autumn and winter. The way the snow glitters under the sun. How my Grandmother would cook lamb for holidays because I liked it even though no one else did.

I miss going on long walks around my Dad's apartment complex at night. Some nights going out at 8pm and walking back in when my dad is getting up for work. Him looking at me confused. I miss how he and I would go out and drink coffee in the middle of the day. Or go on random late night snack runs. I miss how we would make jokes. Or talk without having to talk.

I miss my mom a lot. I miss the way she looks when she gets worried that she's not impressing you. The way she smiles when she's really, truly happy. Which to be honest is pretty rare. I miss my brother and his cynical attitude. My sister and her jokes.

I miss my friends.

I miss how much like home Youngstown used to feel to me. Then stopped feeling after a while. Like there was a piece missing. I thought I would find it here. But it isn't. I'm not like most girls, I don't look to fill up the holes in my heart with men or shoes. I try so hard to fill up this big empty space in my heart with a place to feel at home.



I would go to pieces if you said this was just an act to come and take the sleep out of my life...