star above muted worlds

So I'm getting ready to go explore/walk/look for something to use to take money out to buy foods and things for the rest of my visit. I turn on my ipod and all songs December decide to play first. Tricky ipod. This includes all of my Decemberists' songs.

Including this song which is my "wake up crying in my sleep" song when I fall asleep listening to music.
It is also the perfect song for today/my life I think.

There is another more upbeat song that makes me feel soul searchy and weird (this). It is also pretty depressing. I liked it so much that I downloaded the whole album but the rest of the songs are more hilarious or weird than anything.

Oh well, off to explore...it feels like/looks like it is going to be a super super cold day.
I miss warm. Everyday I spend in cold makes me want to move some place warm, that is warm all or most of the time. But then in the summer I want to die.

Can't there just be a special place in this world that is seriously autumn all the time? Multicolored leaves, lovely smell, Indian summer, all of that jazz? That would be the perfect place for me. I'd live the shit out of that place.

I'm so freaking cold. It isn't even that cold in here. My insides just feel cold.

I'm a ghost of my former self, only explanation.
I'd insert a scene from episode 12 of AHS right about now but can't find a good one.