Here’s a small update: I’ve put together a Linktree to keep everything I’m doing to honor my sister in one place. I’d be grateful if you’d check in on it from time to time as I slowly work to become more involved in advocacy, all while navigating my healing journey.
https://linktr.ee/Resurrectionlily
2003: High School
Me: (sitting at my best friend Nicole’s house who I have known since 2001 playing video games. her house phone rings. It is my sister)
Heather: Meg, mom wants to know Nikki’s phone number.
Me: Heather… you called here didn’t you?
Heather: Oh… yeah.
—
2009: Heather at 19/20
Heather: (driving) grab that piece of paper out of my purse. It’s a poem Tom wrote for me.
Me: (suspicious) He was in my 10th grade English class when he was 20 years old. I don’t believe this man has read a poem.
Heather: No it’s really good though.
Me: (opens paper) “Heather I love you more than beer.”
Heather: See?!
Me: Heather, he says he loves you more than beer. This is poetry to you?
Heather: Megan, what you need to understand is that Tom REALLY loves beer.
Heather: You’re only jealous because you’re single!
Megan: Well, maybe I am single because someone writing a one sentence poem about me and comparing me to a beverage is like not the kind of relationship I want.
Heather: Ok well maybe you should lower your standards because Megan, men like beer.
Megan: Oh Jesus Christ.
——
2008- going to Andover with a boyfriend to introduce him to my mom & sister.
Heather (sees us walking around the square and jumps out of her truck) Megan! I gotta show you my tattoos. (Takes off her shirt in broad daylight and shows my ex and I her brass knuckle tattoos on her chest)
Megan: Heather why did you get brass knuckles?
Heather: Because I am a gangsta!
Megan: Heather there is a horse farm next to our house and we are surrounded by corn! Your first boyfriend’s name was Bubba!
Heather: Well, I am a country gangsta. Anyway someone did these for free. Also, Bubba was his nickname.
Megan: That is worse because he was 17 and still going by Bubba!
I don’t know how to type this. I am still in complete shock.
7:32 AM
I was awake walking around the house because I could not sleep. I woke up with a jolt at like 6am and just started pacing around the house. Not sure why. Just something would not let me fall back to sleep.
My cell phone started vibrating and as I said out loud, “it’s 7:30am what is my mom calling me for?” I knew before the sentence even finished - the words still hanging in the air. Something was wrong with my sister.
“Heather’s gone. She’s gone. She was shot. Her boyfriend killed her.”
I couldn’t process it and just said, “what? what? What the fuck?”
I still haven’t processed it, if I am being totally honest.
Her boyfriend turned himself in this morning.
My sister and I were no contact since 2019 when everything went down with what she had done to my grandmother and it became really evident that she was having some kind of issue (gambling, spending all her money, selling everything that wasn’t secured to the floor, taking money from my mom etc). I just did not want to be involved in her life at that point. It was too much for me. So I went no contact with her. It was healthier and safer for me so I don’t regret that even now. It was better for my mental health to not be involved in my sister’s chaotic life.
So I have complicated feelings about her passing - to say the least. I am sad. I wish things were different between us - that is was healthier for her to have been in my life all these years.
My sister, Heather Elise Harris, was born March 4, 1989. She was a complicated person but she had lots of people that loved her and cared for her. She had very much desired love and closeness her whole life. She was outgoing, had tons of friends, and more than anything wanted her “other half.” Her love language was giving gifts and monetary. I once saw her give a friend-of-a friend of hers $100 for gas money right after saying she couldn’t pay a bill. She really loved people and wanted to have them love her in return.
I am just sick about this whole situation and I am so devastated. I am angry. I am shocked. I am scared. I am sad for her friends and my whole family. Everyone but my mom was also no contact with her so I would imagine we are all feeling a similar and complicated set of feelings about this.
I don’t know if it would help knowing why. I hear that helps sometimes when someone is murdered. But I don’t think it would help. Because I would just keep asking. There is no reason. Nothing good enough. No one is deserving of this for any reason.
I don’t know how to end this.
Anyway someone told me to do a go fund me so I did that I guess to take some of the burden off my mother.
